Wednesday, July 20, 2011

On washing dishes after drinking too much wine

1)      It’s assumed that since you are even attempting to wash the dishes, you’ve only had a little too much wine. This point is further supported by the fact that you had the good sense to make yourself a bowl of Turkey Hill’s Double Dunkers ice cream as a reward for doing the dishes tonight.
2)      It will most likely take more time and more water than normal.  This is due to rewashing items you’ve already cleaned, dropping items back into the sink, and simply not having the faucet over the dish that you are supposed to be rinsing off.  How much more water and time you will use depends on how much wine you drank.
3)      Expect the process to be noisier than normal, for some of the same reasons outlined in point two.  If you are lucky, you have a stainless steel sink, where jostling dishes and falling flatware sound with a dull thud; as opposed to a ceramic sink, where when completely sober, gently laying dishes down can make a surprisingly sharp crack.
4)      Hopefully you were cleaning up while you cooked, before you started drinking wine (unless you were drinking while cooking, you know, just to get in the proper mood for dinner).  If you were conscientious about this, hurray for you, you should have no sharp knives needing washing.  If you were not, be very, very cautious. 
5)      Do not attempt to put dishes away when you are done.  The reason for this is two-fold: 
a.       Reaching to the top shelf of the cabinet to put that one cereal bowl away really took a lot out you.  It doesn’t normally seem to require so much strength and concentration.
b.      Chances are, you aren’t doing a great job getting these dishes clean, and will need to redo some of them tomorrow.  If you are lucky, your husband will look them over and put them away while you are sleeping.


  1. Sounds like fun! I'm definitely going to try this some time.

  2. Chances are I will be drinking wine too, and you would still have to put the dishes away the next day.